Trying

I think that title really sums it up. This has been one heck of a trying summer not only for me but for some of my close friends as well. The cursed summer of 09 is what we'll call it. Right now Aly and I are trying our best to remain positive and see that all things happen for a reason. I feel pretty angry that Ca has such a jacked up budget that so many teachers have lost their jobs and my talented and incredibly intelligent wife is out there with hundreds of other out of work teachers competing for the few jobs that are out there. I'm less than pleased that after two years I'm still a contractor for my company and was forced to be laid off for 30 days to comply with regulations and then rehired. During those 30 days off I was trying to get all my over due dr appts taken care, I hate having to ask for time off and wanted to get them done with. I'm trying to now get my mind around the idea that I will be having surgery next wed and all that means. A hysterectomy is not the major surgery is used to be but since I have lupus everything simple is complex. The fact that I need to get this done is actually just another little reminder that no matter how much I try to forget that I have lupus, it always seems to find a way to remind me that it's there and always will be. I'm trying to understand the cold heart of my boss, and the fact that I came this close to losing my job over this surgery. I also found out that come the end of the year they have cut our department and I will no longer have a job. There does come a point where Aly and I have to wonder when we start having some good news and when these trying times are going to end.
I tell myself this is when I have to let go, and have faith and remain positive. The 30 days off I was forced to take off really was a blessing. I got some much needed down time and that extra rest has put me in a good place for healing after surgery. I was also able to get lots of things done around the house and that feels great. Most important, I got some really good quality time with the kids and Aly. Most important during those 30 days off, I went to see my dr for an on going issue that I would've put off for who knows how long and that would've been really putting my health at risk.
If Aly was working and starting school right now, there is no way that she would be able to have the quality time she's had to spend with Jordyn and getting her ready for her first year of high school. She has been able to really be there for the kids and I know that makes her feel great. She will also be home to help take care of me after my surgery. If she was working right now, this was would be impossible for her to do. I have faith that there will be a teaching position at the ready for her and while it might be at the last minute, it will be just right for her and she'll be very happy and very appreciated for her amazing teaching skills.
As for my job and my less than sensitive boss, well I have to believe that will all work itself out. I think karma will catch up to her and some of the things that she has done. You can't keep stepping on people and not think it will by pass you. I have faith that a new and challenging job is on my horizon that will be worth waking up for every morning. I will have co workers that will once again feel like family, be supportive and will be a joy to work with. I think sometimes trying to be positive and stay faithful that all things will work out is the one constant that we have to hold on to right now. We have seen how loving and kind everyone has been. Trying times make you try and see all the good and look past just the things that are difficult.